Monday, May 12, 2008

Word Confusion

Quite often my hubby has these moments of what I'd like to call word confusion. He either mispronounces a word or completely uses the wrong word while speaking. Let me explain.

Setting: a booth at Bennigans.
Time: prime lunch time. Did you understand me? 12 o'clock. On Friday.

Me - "I have such a bad headache. I hope its not a migraine."
Hubby - "Well, have you picked up your prescription?"
Me - a little confused "Huh?"
Hubby - "Your Valtrex. Did you go get your Valtrex?"
Me - hysterically laughing while my face turns 4 different shades of red.
Hubby - "What is so funny?"
Me - "You dork! Its Imitrex not Valtrex. Valtrex is for herpes!!" hahaha
Hubby - haha "Oops! Whatever its called."
Me - "Now everyone around us thinks I have herpes, you dork!" haha
Hubby - hahaha

Now of course at the moment my husband said Valtrex it got very quiet in the restaurant and I'm pretty sure the majority of the tables around us heard our conversation. Do you have someone in your life that has "word confusion"? Leave a comment and let me know.

95 comments:

Keeper Of All Things said...

Hahaha!!!!!!!!!! SSHHHHHHure you don't have herpies!!!!

Ann(ie) said...

One time I was explaining to a group of people that I am always afraid I'm dying and googling my symptoms. That I go to the Dr. with faux phobias all the damn time. And that I must be a....

wait for it....

wait for it....

A nymphomanic

*sigh*

Meant hypochondriac.

Never have lived it down.

meh.

ConversationsWithACupcake said...

Oh, sigh. When will the day come when you say "I have a headache" and the hubster cradles you in his arms & gives you a no-strings-attached head rub?
Yes, probably never. Thank goodness for Valtrex. Er, Imitrex.
:)

Swirl Girl said...

HAHAHA!

Do I know anyone who has word confusion! My mom is the master malaprop - so is my 4 year old!!

Saundra@An Italian Mama Gone Crazy said...

My hubby does it all the time.

All the time! He likes to try and use $10 words and it cracks me up!

Esther said...

No, I don't have any funny stories to tell, unfortunately. No wait, Ella used to read incorrectly and say "imets" instead of "items" so now that's what we all say too. No wait, that wasn't funny. Sorry!

Tranquility said...

HAHAHA! TOO FUNNY!
So, uh, how's that Valtrex working for you?

trashalou said...

One of my brother's has chronic song lyric issues. Did you know the Go-gos sang ''Alex the seal'? Or that Patrick Swayze thought Jennifer Grey would be better lightly cooked as he famously sang in that Dirty Dancing classic - 'She's microwaved'.

Melanie said...

So funny, my husband loves to do this and the most hilarious is when he tries to use the "fancy" names for colors.

Astrid said...

I'm here from SITS...
Ha ha ha! That's hilarious! Unfortunately, it would probably be ME making that mistake not hubby. :)

Heather said...

What a great story! Sometimes it's not kids say the darndest things, but Husbands.

jewelstreet said...

Yeah. He has word confusion as well. It gets so bad I am sometimes severely confused in a conversation with him because it tends not to be one word but more like 2 or 3.

HeatherY said...

lol! That's funny! My Mom always used words in the wrong places. It was so embarrassing as a teenager.

Michelle said...

Oooooo that's a bad one. Or a good one depending on your point of view! Gotta love when someone truly embarrasses you at the same time you've got a migraine! And yes, I've heard of others who have word confusion issues, though thankfully not quite as ummm flagrant as that one.

Creative Junkie said...

Have you ever watched Boston Legal? Allan Shore occasionally suffers from Word Salad, where he uses an entirely wrong word when he's speaking - cracks me up!

lmerie said...

Over from SITS - that is funny! My 12 year old has "word confusion" - cracks me up!

Jennifer said...

That is too funny!(and kinda embarassing!!

Honey Mommy said...

If it makes you feel any better, I don't think I would have known what the drug was for... but I probably would have avoided you anyway!

My First Kitchen said...

Happy SITS day!! Judging by your profile, we share some things in common. I also couldn't live without ice and my DVR. I also love football and movies. I also don't like walking around barefoot and sand. One of my quirks is having to wear socks at all times. I'm glad someone else understands. :) Enjoy your day, and have fun getting lots of comments!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

I worked with a youth group and we had an overnight - the next morning one of the middle school girls said she had had a dream that night that an octapus had wrapped his testicles around her....

April said...

That is so funny and I think we've all been in that same situation before. I know my teenage daughter does it all the time...but, for the life of me, I can't think of any examples to share! That's a Monday morning for ya!

Kelly Deneen said...

LOL! That was hysterical! Poor you! ;)

Happy SITS day!!

Blicky Kitty said...

Hahaha you could have said "no but I picked up the Viagra you asked for." :)

Mrs. S said...

Oh my gosh, that's super embarrassing. I hope your SITS day isn't too embarrassing.

Casey's trio said...

Hilarious! Happy SITS day.

tidymom said...

ROTFLOL!!!! That's too funny!!

Happy SITS day!

~Tidymom

ScrappinAway said...

Too funny! I don't know about word confusion but it is a big joke in our family because my dad says San Fransico wrong...it is San Frisco to him!

Margaret said...

My husband has this problem. Its usually with the wording not the actuall words. He will say a saying he has heard but turn it around where it sounds bad for him instead of the other person.

koopermom said...

That is too funny. I have a coworker who is always saying the worng thing. Not quite as funny as you r valtrex though!

Braja said...

Oh, god, cringe....

Rhea said...

These comments are hilarious. Your post was hilarious. LOVE it.

I'm probably the one with word-issues in our household. I'm just awkward and clumsy...all the time!!

Ronnica said...

I would totally do that. I never remember which drug is which.

Jaden Paige said...

lol! This post- and its comments- has generated some great laughter this morning. Thanks!

Heather said...

Hee! In our house, it is our daughter and not my hubby with the word issues..... like when she was not quite two and expanding her vocabulary rapidly and decided that she ought to permanently confuse the word "armpits" with the word "privates" .... nothing like having your kid yell, very loudly, "STOP TICKLING MY PRIVATES!!!!!!!!"

Oy.

Thanks for the chuckle! Cheers!

wenderful said...

English is my husband's 3rd language so he gets word confusion all the time. He once got all upset because he wanted to know where the cookie stamps were. What? What in the heck is a cookie stamp. Finally we figured out he meant cookie CUTTERS. Humorous.

cat said...

Excellent! So very very funny! Once one of our Draughtsman worte "pubic area" on a drawing in stead of "public area". You can just imagine the hysterical laughter while we were discussing the drawings in a meeting.

a simple seeker said...

My mother is a word confuser extraordinaire. A day never passed in our household without a carton (or two) of Neopolitan ice cream stashed in the freezer, much to appease the tastebuds of three entirely different ice cream connoisseurs. Without fail, she seemingly never remembered its appropriate name, so she quickly resorted to accidentally calling it "Metropolitan" ice cream instead. Whether on purpose or still by sheer accident, it's become nothing short of habitual for her. It seems entirely out of the ordinary if it leaves her mouth any other way. :)

Paige said...

I constantly mix up lawn mower and vacuum--which I guess are kind of alike as they both get stuff up off the ground. And dish washer and clothes washer---

Clearly I am just not cut out for domestic responsibilities

Mandy said...

LOL!

Marrdy said...

Too funny. I think it's a husband thing!

Laurel Plum said...

All of our family has that disease. The word confusion, I mean. Not the herpes. LOL

Legal Diva said...

LOL! My oldest daughter was reading a book and came to ask my husband and I about "shits-o-phrenia" (schizophrenia). We died laughing... husband told her that must be an awful disease to have, when your buns are confused!

Reluctant Housewife said...

That's exactly the kind of thing I'd do... Oops! Lol

Blessings Abound said...

Lol, he probably wasn't thinking when he said that. My husband does the same thing when he's preoccupied!

Laura said...

Well I guess it could have been worse if you knew everyone around you! Embarassing moments in front of strangers are still embarassing though! I've had some of those!

Debbie Y. said...

The two words I use the most that confuse people is adamant and facetious. A lot of people do not use those words in the correct context.

I did once incorrectly use a phrase as: "Beat it WITH a dead horse," instead of "Beat it LIKE a dead horse," which cracked my ex hubby up. My daughter says he still brings that up in conversation to other people every now and again.

Two of my brothers say "Pacific" instead of "specific" and "burfday" instead of "birthday." Why?, I don't know, cause my other brother and I don't and my mother and dad certainly never did.

Funny how the proper use of language can sometimes stump us, even though we have been speaking it all our lives.

Shannon said...

My fave word confusion story involves a co-worker... when going out for lunch, she'd order a "seizure" salad. One day, we finally asked her if she wanted some heart-attack croutons to go with it.

Brooke said...

That is pretty dang funny. I have had the happen several times, but my brain has issues and I cannot remember any. I know as soon as I leave this site they will come to me. Or else at 2 am in the morning!

Brandy said...

Way to play that one off! Whew...good thing you thought quick.

J/k!

If hubs can't pronounce something he just makes something else up...Puerta Vallarta became "Port of Viagra". I'm sure the locals appreciated that.

Laura said...

Someone I know had a similar experience to Ann(ie) with the word nymphomaniac, but it was in a work meeting . . . Happy SITS Day!

Jen said...

awesome. that is so funny

lynn said...

Oh my! That is so funny! My hubby would have probably said that on purspose!

Noah's Mommy said...

hahahahah....I can't do anything but laugh

april kennedy said...

I laughed out of loud! And that would be me...with word confusion and it makes my hubby feel so smart, because that is the only thing that he is better than me at! He just said last night, "Do you want to join me in reading my favorite book?" He was holding the dictionary!

dddiva said...

Too funny! We do things like that all the time- sometimes not even on purpose! ;)
Hehehe glad you have a sense of humor about it.
Herpes, huh?

meg said...

Ouch! My hubby has the same disorder, but hasn't embarrassed me...yet :-S

Rhonda said...

Oh, you poor thing! But at least you're doing the right thing and keeping your herpes under control. lol

My husband does the word thing too. Only his is a natural "English second language" parents thing. Wow. Did that just make any sense at all? lol Anyway, grammar was just not important. And it shows. In spades.

Congrats on your SITS day!

Kat said...

I have that issue. I know what I mean. And I just don't know why the rest of you don't follow my line of thinking.

My most embarrasing mis-use was when I was 12. I had to make these puppets for a play for my English class. I thought they looked awful. Because I am not crafty. I kept telling everyone that they looked "horny." You know - silly or stupid. Naturally, that is what I meant. Not what my red faced mother explained to me. Not at all :-)

Andrea said...

LOL! I wish my husband was the one around here with word confusion, but it's me. I blame it on "mommy brain."

ChezChani said...

Doesn't everybody do this? Once I could not remember the word "menorah" and could only think of "sombrero."

Amy said...

That is too funny. I can't think of anything right off the top of my head, but I KNOW we have had some of those spill out before.

andrea said...

Too funny! My boyfriend just looks to me for word prompts...I have to hold myself back from correcting grammatical errors. Such a know-it-all I am:( I guess we all have our picky little "things".

Deconstructing Jen said...

Oh no! Well I bet that made for some interesting dinner conversations at the other tables, lol.

Live.Love.Eat said...

Yikes, been down that road but I was 8. I said to my mom - look at all the beautiful douche on the grass. I meant dew. Yikes.

Michelle said...

LOL! That is so funny!

Michele said...

My friend's two year old loved "fire frucks." Love these word confusion stories.

La Pixie said...

LOL, thats awesome.

Becky D said...

10th grade science class....said orgasm, meant organism....that was a rough semester...Happy SITS day!

Clippergirl56 said...

That is too funny. I would have crawled under the table. By the Becky D that was a good one too. I probably would have transferred to another school.

Tabitha Blue said...

BWAAAAHHAAAA. That is too funny... at your expense of course. :)

Eudea-Mamia said...

I hope Bennigans washes their silverware with really hot water.

Not that you have herpes, but you know, just in case.

Congrats on being Saucy!

Em

angie said...

I actually laughed out loud for real on that one!

nikkicrumpet said...

Not confusion...just evilness. My teenage daughters used to go with me to Walmart...when we got near the medicine aisles...they would go down an aisle then YELL "HEY MOM...HERES THAT MEDICINE FOR GENITAL WARTS!!!" At least your hubby does it accidently lol

Melodie said...

Nice cover! You wouldn't want everyone to know about your herpes. And posting this story on the internet? Brilliant! Try to get the masses to believe your story, too. J/K LOL!

My husband wouldn't even have a clue of any prescription names. He doesn't even know the names of his own prescriptions!

EmmaP said...

valtrex! hahahahaha! too funny!

Sara-Beth said...

Got to love husbands- they can make the most innocent comment into the most embarrasing thing ever!

Dee from Downunder said...

How embarrassing! LOL

WheresMyAngels said...

That would be me! I'm always doing stuff like that.

Want to hear the worst one that I can remember.

Setting: Sophmore biology

Me: (raising my hand)

Mr Pal: Yes, Gayla

Me: Do we have to know all the orgasms for tomorrow test?

Class: Hysterical laughter

Mr Pal: Thats Organisms, Gayla.

Bebe said...

Hahaha!!
You are too funny, girl! I think I would have been under the table on that one! Happy SITS day to you!
Hugs, Bebe :)

mylitlbratz said...

Husbands- they certainly can embarrass the hell out of us.

Vicki said...

There are several people in my life who like to mispronounce words. I'm convinced they know what they're doing...

Valtrex...and it got quiet...oooh girl, he owes you :)

littleeverydaythings said...

I have word confusion, or at least name confusion. I can never remember the names of all of my husband's co-workers. Maury becomes "Wooly" in my twisted world and Franklin becomes "Jackson," just to name a couple. I have no idea why I'm so afflicted LOL! Happy SITS Day! What was your name again?

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

SO funny. Well, I bet you made everyone's lunch much more interesting. Now they all have something to talk about over the water cooler!

greedygrace said...

LOL! Funny funny! Happy SITS day!

TattooedMinivanMom said...

Oh yeah! My mom is notorious for mis-saying all kinds of stuff. Funny thing is, I'm so used to it, I usually know exactly what she's talking about. Like a misspoken translater of sorts.

It's ok. I take Valtrex too. Migraines suck!

Anna Lefler said...

Why is it that the restaurant always gets quiet when you blurt out words like herpes...or hemorrhoids?

Oh, wait. The hemorrhoids thing may have been my experience. Disregard that.

:^) Anna

Leiann said...

I think I suffer from word confusion. I'm not sure if this is something I've had all my life or it has just happened since I've had all my kids!

The Boss Lady said...

My co-worker is famous for that. She calls scents "flavors" and Alzheimer's "Old-Timers", just to name a few...it drives me freaking bonkers!

elle @ pret-a-party said...

hahaha i'm so guilty of that!

Z's Mom said...

That is Toooooo funny!!!

Yes, I admit it...I have word confusion....and I also forget the words I want to say...so I cannot give you any examples right now.

Jori-O said...

That IS pretty funny...although I can't keep all the names of those meds straight, so it would have totally gone over my head anyways! (It could have been worse! He could have asked you if you picked up your Viagra!)

Lavender n Lattés said...

Oh my gosh! How embarrasing! Yes, I do have someone in my life like that! I feel bad after I correct him, but he often gets words confused...I can't help it though!

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